I want to come

CarlI want to come
Europe won't let me in
what if you tell the border guys that I invited you and that I vouch for you
but then you have to promise me not to commit crimes
so that I'm not embarrassed
CarlI wouldn't commit crimes. That wouldn't be fun.
Man i was going for sarcastic but just ended up earnest
in american they say 'don't do the crime if you can't do the time'
but in russian we just say 'don't do the crime'
because nothing rhymes with преступление