ok, in shrek 2
ok, in shrek 2
when shrek confuses the handwash water for soup
its an honest mistake
they put a little lemon in it
LevI don't like where this is going
thats where it was going
it went there
snail.
Levgive meme
There's an article with the title "Scientists just erased certain memories from a snail's brain - and they think it'll work with humans, too"
And then a tweet
Scientists: do you remember anything?
Snail:
Scientists: oh my god what have we done
Levhahaha
thats pretty good
You seem to have a weakness for animal-based memes
Levits true
they are so dumb
so its funny when they are put into human situations
acme.
Kabiryou get it from FEMA?
Levno
acme
KabirI can perfectly hear you pronounce this
"ack-mé"
truly infuriating
Levwhat you want me to pronounce it ack-mee like we are fucking road runners disappearing into a painting of a a tunnel
the fuck outta here
Kabiryea bitch cause it's how you pronounce the word
you can't just not pronounce it right because it's affiliated with a property you don't like
"no it's not super, fuck superman he's lame, it's sūpër"
happy birthday.
LevI like this trend of making me a song for my birthday but I gotta say you got a real different vibe with the ukulele
for an actual song you will have to wait until I have access to an instrument
there's only 2 wine glasses here
Levthats enough for 2 notes and a chord
im not asking for an orchestral composition
are you asking for Shut up
because Shut up and take your song
happy birthday
thirst trap.
Levthe dude looks like gordon levitt and timothee chalumets love child
You'd think I'd love him for it
But he looks like a douche tbh
One of those guys that thirst trap on tiktok
Levi'd watch him get sexy arrested
Hahaha
You have the right to remain shirtless
Levanything you have can and will be pressed against me
playlist.
Levalright you've added more songs
but if I count the people I added and you count the people you added
then I added more songs
bitch people you add should subtract songs
as much as I love those people and the tunes they've added
it compromises the integrity of the playlist
Levthen you should get no songs for being the original compromiser
I am carrying this playlist on my shoulders like Atlas
meanwhile you're outsourcing to a bunch of brown people like a goddamn call center
russian show.
did you know there is a russian show called It's always sunny in Moscow
that's exactly like It's always sunny in philadelphia
except it sucks
Lev:c
why did they make it bad
instead of good
cause russians can't do comedy
russian cinema is great, but their good movies mostly make you wanna fuckin shoot yourself
incidentally, so do the comedies
but for a different reason
cycle.
It’s just the same cycle every time
I get an urge to play the sims
Then I play for 10 hours a day for 4 days
And then I uninstall and completely forget it
Levsome people say we may never understand the menstrual cycle
I just explained it to you
Levif only there was some way for it to be explained to us
but alas it shall forever be a mystery
alas
one more secret a vagina will never reveal to you
can't we have a nice evening without alcohol
can't we have a nice evening without alcohol
I swear I am at least 65% as fun when I'm sober
Levbut it could be 100%
if you can't take me at my 65%
you don't deserve me at my 100%
Levfor Independence Day we need mdma
biiiitch
Levbiiiitch
lets get you set up
shhh i'm watching schizophrenia simulations
Levwhat
schizophrenia
simulations
portion control.
LevI got me some guac
but like
not very good guac
I got the tortilla chips from yesterday
Levgross
day old tortilla chips
more like
don't have my life together-ips
sorry that I don't stuff my face with tortilla chips until I can't breathe
it's called portion control bby
Levoh are you telling me its name because you're just now learning about it?
I need 1 min
I need 1 min
Levtake yo time
ok ready
Levnow i need 20 min : /
breet
you said take yo time
Levyeah
take even more time
I'll take my time all the way until tomorrow
lev
what could you possibly be doing
you are unemployed
Levi am hanging with ab in between meetings
i am unemployed but she is extra employed
hang out faster
Levwe are hanging at light speed
something something u cum fast
bo burnham.
I wanted to find bo burnham's joke about shucking corn
but got this instead
it never gets old
Levit is very good
it's making me crave a burrito
Levnothing in inside hit me quite as hard
oh
oh
Levwe had very different emotional responses
adonis.
Levnah ya'll pumped my head real big
I look like ADONIS
who's we
I ain't done pumped shit
Levyou thought all those mancala compliments were harmless?
i don't remember giving out that many
Levall I needed was one
shit
remind me what I said
so i can backtrack
Lev"Over the years I have seen you turn into a confident and handsome man"
i did not say handsome
i don't even think i said confident
i said charming
Lev"Over the years I have seen you turn into a confident, handsome, charming, big pp man"
i'm starting to question even the charming part
Lev"Over the years I have seen you turn into a big pp"
now that's a statement I can get behind
work ethic.
can a friend be a sugar daddy
Leva sugar friendy
your best bet is probably still kabir tho
or nadir, he's been getting that FB money
but he has two children so who knows if he can even afford dinner every night
nah I've made my choice
im bettin on you kid
Levyou uh...
saw my work ethic these past couple of months, yeah?
i saw them continuing to pay you and being sad to see you go
after two years of what can only imagine added up to 48 minutes of work
that's talent