i wish the chaise longue wasn't there
Levfuckin chaise longue
what is your problem with that word
it is the correct term for this piece of furniture
Levit's a deck chair my man
yeah if you're a yankee doodle pleb
Levd e c k c h a i r
deck chair
what an unsophisticated way to refer to furniture
ooga booga a chair you put on your deck
what should we call it??
Levye ye chaise longue is much more sophisticated
herp derp this chair got long, innit
touché
or as you would say
props
Levit's like you don't even know me
i would say
fair dos
ah fuck
my b
Levor as you would say
faire equitables
Levwait did I send the toilet emoji or did you
you did
i thought it was a suggestion
LevI'm a purist
I try to only send it
if I am on the toilet
at that very second
in fact,
the poop does not come out if the emoji hasn't been sent
but once it has
your poop is like
b o n j o u r
Levthe secret is, renn
my poop is always like
b o n j o u r
Levi had my last day at work
i am now a free man
woooooooooo
congratulations
what should we do to celebrate
you want to videochat and you just watch me silently eat korean bbq
Levi am now unemployed
homeless
and dont have a car
and my condition still sounds less sad than what you just proposed
Levthe call is on monday
man can't they allow you to be unemployed for like one second
their website looks very cool
but Lev
did you tell them
that you can't drive
Levtheir cars don't have steering wheels
so I am safe
it may actually be an advantage
cause you have a better incentive to teach the car to drive
LevI will bootstrap the shit out of it
"someone has to do it, car, and it ain't gonna be me"
Levthen again
I am also going to teach a car to drive
when I also dont know how to drive
car: so what do I do here?
me: I dunno, windshield wipers I guess?
baby in stroller: oh no
lol
better save those gems for monday
Levisnt it ironic that a year ago you were like
"no I dont want to go to costa rica and get covid in a place where I dont know the language"
and this year you went to costa rica and got covid in a place you dont know the language
oh god you're right
Well having native speakers there to help us out was much better
Levyeah it would have sucked without them
we couldnt even read the quarantine order
I'm sure if past me knew how things were gonna go down
She would have preferred to wait a year
Levyeah also vaccine and all
still
a nice little echo of last year
Speaking of echo
You also said that you would have loved to spend quarantine in Costa Rica
Levand I did
so we were both right
Levthe gift shop also has water if you need it
maybe
if I ever get through the passport control line on time
Levoh no
did they realize you are bulgarian
I didn't see a red carpet so probably not
Hahahahaha
A red carpet
As I leave their country
Levthey are all very excited for you to go
At least I'm kicked out in style
Costa Rica, you classy betch
are you here yeeeeet
Levthree hours away
from finishing deboarding
boh and then another three hours getting through airport checks and taking the car
Levan then 3 more hours until we realize we flew to the san jose in california instead
that's cool I'll be chilling by the pool
if I go swimming at 5 in the morning do you think I will look like a psychopath or someone who is just really healthy mentally
Levyou know how before an earthquake, animals start acting real strange
it'll have the same energy
I was more hoping for a Sim being played incorrectly
it wasn't even that scary
But again, it depends on what scares you the most
Levslowly losing a sense of self as you don't know whether what you're experiencing is your mind deteriorating from a mishandled experiment or part of simulation designed to scare the ever loving shit out of you?
also
like
spiders?
Levnah bro spiders are cool
I agree
But there were spiders in the episode
LevI find that offensive
I come from a long line of spiders
The only thing you have in common with spiders is that you are both really obsessed with what comes out of your butt
what was the name
Levwhose name
of the porn comic
Levwhy am I always the source
you have all the good reccs
Lev:/
i don't know anyone else who reads for pleasure
though you might be reading for a little too much pleasure
Levthere's several ways to interpret that and I don't like that phrasing for any of them
can you just let me tell my joke
LevI dunno is this a conversation or a stand up routine
But I was coincidentally totally in a toilet
3.5/5 no lock and I can't fortify the door
Levthat should rate lower than 3.5
what are you going to do if there is a siege
I'm confident in my abilities to pee and flee simultaneously
Levare you very practiced
A lady doesn't tell
Levbut do you?
No
I pee and melee
Levis that
is that supposed to rhyme?
Yes
Can you just work with me here
possum?
Levits a pig mate
you city slickin ass lady
and one of those is a chihuahua
now who is a city lady
Levyou
oooooh, burn
Levdont try to hide, i know how much that burn got to you
oh yeah no it killed me
you're a savage
Levi should try to use my powers only for good
where's the fun in that
I say go full bond villain
Levno mr bond, i expect you to cry
we were going to go to champagne for his birthday
but he got his driving licence taken away
Levwhy?
he ran a red light with his bike 4 years ago
i just find it so ridiculous that they would take his car-driving licence for a bike violation
"you gonna run a red light and you gonna ignore us for 4 years? fine, you ain't driving SHIT"
Levlol
its only right tho
these bikers have been riding with impunity for too long
what happens to the people without driving licences though
do they take their subway passes
Levyes
justice must be exacted
if you don't have that
they break your legs
Levnah man your drawings look all natural and shit
like you understand why things look good and how to make them look good
whereas I am a chef that has no mouth
with our powers combined
maybe we can make something original but also good
Levit is more likely we will make something unoriginal but also bad
we can have a bad art gallery
Levdo you think people would buy our bad art
it's always about the hustle with you isn't it
Nobody wants England to win
We're all United against them
Levpoor england
all they wanted to do was make fun of crying children
And tomorrow
They will pay the ultimate price
Levis there a chance both will lose?
i am rooting for that one
What if a bird flies in and scores a goal
Wouldn't that be nice
Levthat would be lovely
i am team bird
and team referee
because i support the bird
but it should still play by the rules
I think it's time we all stopped being ashamed of our kinks
The world would be a better place for it
Levi agree
except for you
you should be deeply ashamed
I find that really difficult
Levoh no
instead of shame juice
your brain is now filled with sexy jeopardy roleplay juice
It's some kind of juice for sure
Levevery day we stray further from jesus is lord