but my friend told me that I must have really fucked him up
Levyou want me to tell you something that'll def fuck you up?
yes yes yes
Levi had the bidet turned on for a non insignificant part of this convo
man
you never have anything spicy for me
also you overestimate your asshole's influence on my life
you've been texting me from a toilet for 10 years
Levye but i didnt have a bidet before
now every time I get off the toilet I have to say "and I bidet good day to you too"
it's really not necessary
Levthat's where you are categorically wrong
I'm really discouraged to give the spicy when you respond like this
Levyou love it
you've brought this conversation to a stop
you have
flushed it down the drain
toilet
goddamn it
tunnel parties have lost their appeal for me
i went to one in brussels
was fuckin windy as hell
i was too annoyed to enjoy myself
Levdid
did you go to a wind tunnel
shut up
don't tell me what i did
Levwere all the other partygoers aerofoils?
yes
what are they
Levaerodynamic shapes
they were humans
Levbut aerodynamic ones?
aw hell no
aerostatic
i will never understand why you take such pleasure in riling people up and starting petty fights but you gotta draw the line somewhere
and i say draw the line at half-socking
do you not understand how much that unsettles me
once, you even had the nerve to quarter-sock
meaning you had not only half-socked
but your other sock was missing completely
every day you stray further from god's light
Levis no socking ok
no socks i can take
it's bohemian
half-sock is psychotic
we can skip it if you don't have a good question
Levyeah it was a 1 anyways
it would have been like
which one of your feet is your favorite
my favourite bread is a croissant
i disregard your foot question
Levbitch that's a pastry
semantics
Levwhat's your favorite bread
goat curry
my favourite bread is a piano
Levyeah from the looks of it the grand kind
ey yoooooooooooooooooo
don't fly to Seattle
just make the plane fly past
they'll be happy to
Levyou mean
hijack it?
I'm not sure that's the right call here
you call it hijacking
I call it plane persuasion
Levairorape
every single guy i've ever flirted with
hasn't been able to move on
they lay in bed with they girl
and they're like 'i wonder what renn is doing and what she's wearing and if she still thinks about me'
spoiler: i don't
for all of those things
Levcut to renn
renn:
i wonder if I can fit my entire leg in a balloon
truly i am living life right
Sona is like the coolest Armenian I know
Levbruh
I've got like
emotions and stuff
Oh like you care
Lev:c
I gotta be the coolest something
I figured with the limited population
armenian was my best chance
Bruh
Sona lives in California
So you ain’t even the coolest Armenian in your state
Lev:ccccc
Maybe you can be the coolest Armenian on your street
Levtomorrow today or tomorrow tomorrow
tomorrow tomorrow
Levso today?
tomorrow
Levnow?
not today
nor now
Levyesterday
the day after today
Levcurrently
have patience for europa
europa is a dish best served at room temperature
which it will achieve in 24 hours
i keep thinking 'please nobody shoot him pls pls pls'
Levwhat a rock and roll start to 2021 that would be
i'm not capable of dealing with seeing something like that i think
yes i'm making it about me
so his speech is very much unity-centred
which i think is the right focus
but then again
why is a part of his hair flapping in the wind
just a few hairs, but it's enough to be distracting from his message
where is the unity in his hair
oop, he stumbled over a few words
clearly unfit to lead
Levaw man i was gonna make a unity of his hair joke
too slow
no, actually
say it
let's judge if it was gonna be better than mine
Levwhere is the unity of his hair
2/10
comedy is all about timing lev
how is everyone doing. i'll go first i am doing bad
Levi am good thanks
did you get assblasted
Levhavent used it yet
go now
and give an update
Levbut
i dont need to
youre just telling me to wash my ass
you don't need to poop to assblast
Levye then it would just be an asswash
you wash your ass, lady
I don't have an assblaster
Levyou are yourself an assblaster
be the change you want to see in the world
the guy that posts audio porn that I listen to
released one that is plant-themed
he really knows his audience
Levi am having a hard time parsing any bit of this statement
which part is confusing
Levthe plant themed audio porn part
is it like
yeah stick that hibiscus in me you dirty fir?
noooo
do you think I have some weird plant fetish
Levyes
no it's a roleplay where he's learning all these things about taking care of plants from me
and then he pays me back in kind
Levis this like ghost where you hold him from behind as he waters a cactus
l o n g u e c a t t e
Kabirhe twimst
you know you can actually get a cat like this
I think they're called savannah cats
no guarantee he twimst tho
Kabirunfortunately I need 100% certainty of twimst
get one and test
if he twon't, give him to me
Kabirare you ready for that kind of commitment tho
boi I will marry that cat
KabirI expected the great Rennjamin R. Franklin to proudly go against the grain
Levwhat's the R stand for?
KabirRennjamin
Levit's Rennjamin Rennjamin Franklin?
Kabiryea
with a name like that
I will not only go against the grain
I am the grain
Kabirhold on
isn't being the grain the opposite of going against the grain
'I will not only be cold'
'I will be hot'
yea
Kabiryea
look at this pumpkin
Kabir...
either you
or I
don't know what a pumpkin is
Kabirlook at this photograph
Asadgood times
who is the girl on the left
AsadS— M— or sth
Kabirlol "or sth"
lad why pretend that you don't know her exact name and the last 7 addresses she stayed at
"S— M— or sth"
"SSN was ••••••••• or sth"
"tel +1 ••• ••• ••••"
...
or sth
Asadshe's actually my wife or sth
Levwhen she was a child she dreamed of being a vet but her father forced her to put down their family dog to prove that she had what it took and she never recovered from that
or sth