Levyeah, I'm gonna need help getting my shit over to Europe, can you fly over to the states and smuggle some stuff?
how strong is your intestinal lining?
Not strong enough for this shit
And also I guarantee you that whatever you finna tryina import from the states
Ours is better
Levsour patch kids
school shootings
I can’t put that in my bum man
Levthe sour patch kids or the school shooting?
cause I think you can manage both
you just need to a squeeze an entire high school class in there
I'm sure you've managed before
I’m more worried about the sour patch kids to be honest
The kinds of chemicals that go into them
My body cannot handle
Not through that end of the digestive system anyways
Levyou know it goes out that end eventually?
Yeah but my amazing body processes it
In through Renn’s mouth, out through Renn’s bum
Like God intended
I’m watching queer eye
So they spend a week with a straight man
One gives him a cute haircut
One gets him new skinny jeans
One teaches him to make guacamole
AND ONE RENOVATES AND DECORATES HIS ENTIRE TWO STORY HOUSE WHAT THE FUCK
LevThe gays are an industrious peoples
The devil works fast
But Bobby from queer eye works faster
I took a test that said I’m worth 66 camels
LevWhere can I take this test
I want to be more camels than you
You won't be
Lev59 camels
as a boy
I figure that's pretty good
Pshhhh
You just some common 59-camel bitch
You gotta raise your value a bit
What can you do to be worth more?
LevI don't even know
I figured the 193cm would be all I needed
Did they ask for penis size
For the girl version, they asked for boob size
LevYeah, that's what the 193cm was
OOOOOOOOH
FUCK IT UPPPPPP
LevDid mirror bra pull through?
not that kind of festival
no mirror bra yet
Levwhat kind of festival is it?
Belgian folk
Like their version of Octoberfest
Levwhere everyone drinks hot chocolate and big breasted women wheel around cylinders of fudge?
Well I missed the fudge part
And it July man
What hot chocolate
Levcold chocolate then I guess
nesquik
Ew
We had beer
How do you think nesquik before you think beer for Octoberfest
Levcause it's belgian oktoberfest
so it's going to be either chocolate or war crimes
N E S Q U I K
LevWhy are you doing a lotr marathon
Is there a special occasion
I don’t know, saw it on Netflix
Maybe I should have waited for a special occasion tbh
But whatever, yolo
LevLike what
The pope visiting
Hahaha
The pope and I
Discussing which hobbit is the hottest
LevI bet the pope knows frodos goddamn name
:c
It just slipped my mind for a bit
Sorry I’m not a nerd like you
Or the pope
Levnot sure that's gonna make my jokes funnier, best I can hope for is pity fondness from how empathetic it makes you
Just try to use one syllable words
Levyou have good time, me make bad joke, you smile because ecstasy make bad joke endearing
I didn't know a one syllable version of endearing
cute?
Levwhat now you think you know english better than me?
just cause you know words?
Yes, I know the word cute
Truly a genius linguist
Levthat and the fact that you know like 5 languages
7 biiiiiiiiitch
When are we gonna play don’t staaarve
Levwhen you come visit
Don’t hold that over my head like a carrot
It doesn’t require my physical presence
That’s the whole point
Levhow else am I going to condescendingly chide your in game decisions
Wow
This visit sounds lovely
Levhey, all my yelp reviews are raving
"Lev provided a mildly offensive but bearable time"
"Lev is a human being"
"Lev is literally not Hitler"
Who has been providing them
Levmostly my mom :c
:c
What is San Jose syndrome
Levit's just depression
oof
Levbig oofie yikes from me dawg
is that gen z enough for you?
oofs be like *oof noises*
Levhave we ever played 21?
by far my favourite drinking game
you try to count to 21 as a group
but every time you get to 21 you have to make a new rule
Man I can’t even play that game sober
Levyeah I guess it assumes you can count to 21
but you run out of fingers after 10
play with flip flops
gives you another 10
Even if I use my feet fingers it’s not enough
Levdon't call them that
What, feet fingers?
But that’s what they are
Levshut your face butthole
it’s still 11
I’m leaving in an hour
Gotta make a quiche for the pre-party
LevI'm so fucking confused by your life
you go to a party every night
but you pregame a music festival with a quiche
What’s confusing about that
I party with people who love quiche
LevI can't get wild doing fun stuff
I can at least get wild being slightly negligent at work
so what does getting wild look like then
facebook chatting with your best friend during work hours?
LevI know this is a trick to get me to call you my best friend
But I'll allow it
Yeah
it was!
and you did
no take backs
LevNah, I think I've accepted it as an unfortunate fact of life
aww
get you a best friend who has given up on finding a better best friend
LevI've been having a recurring dream where I ask you what's up and you tell me you casually hooked up with one of the hobbits in lord of the rings
if only
wait, which hobbit did I sleep with?
Levmeriadoc
man, I don't even get to sleep with the important ones
ahhhh ok
I think meriadoc is the hottest
it goes
1. meriandoc
2. the super main one
3. sam
4. the woman that sam ended up with
5. the main one's uncle
6. pippin
Levhow the fuck you gonna remember meriadoc but not frodo?
What’s your favorite type of cake
Levdon't start this shit with me renn
cheesecake tho
My favorite type of cake is birthday cake
Levrenn you're an idiot
You were meant for the European lifestyle
Levand the european sexual liberation
all that leather and metal
I just want to fuck a punk cow
America doesn’t have punk cows?
Levnah
they're regular cows
because we don't sexualize bovines in this here country
You’re missing outttt
This is what fomo feels like, Lev
We’re having fun here
Levtell them about the cow fucking
they'll enjoy it
"that piece of meat you eating?"
"I fucked it"
I think you have a skewed perception of people’s conversation preferences
We discussed types of cake
Levmaybe europe isn't the liberal mecca I was imagining
Well
The cake discussion was immediately after the huge international and interracial orgy we had
Alls I’m saying is that you gotta have some cake facts ready before you move here
Levfucking traditions
levon
Levthat is me
ok, just checking
bye
LevBut is it you?
I do not have time for this lev
I have to go now
goodbye