for some reason
I have, at all times
embarrassing and unexplainable things in my purse
LevRestraining order and a bottle if breast milk?
last week it was a literal kilogram of gummy bears
the week before a small fishing rod
this week
a single onion
no bag, no anything
I'm carrying it around like a freaking apple
LevWhy?
I bought it for a salad that I never made
LevStory of your life
LevC'maaaaaaaaan
Cmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
You'll meet new people and eat cheese, you have nothing better planned than that.
You know what's better than that? NOT meeting new people and eating pizza in my underwear.
We still have 33 km to the hotel, its 1 in the fucking morning and we've been on the road for 18 hours
And I'm just talking bullshit toy dad to keep him from falling asleep
Levat least 33 km isn't so bad
that's like half an hour?
Yeah, I can run my mouth for that long
"What does this street sign mean, dad?
"How much electricity do you think it costs to light it, dad?"
Lev"how have I disappointed you, dad?"
although you might want to leave that one for when you guys have a longer stretch of road to cover
just finished Over the Garden Wall
today's children are so lucky
if this is what forms their minds
LevRight?
So good
for me it was fucking caw and chicken
where they threw butts at each other
literally
LevGood times
I'll be finished by the end of the evening
and then back to watching raccoons on youtube
LevIts nice that your family put your childhood videos on YouTube
I know you're trying to insult me
but raccoons are amazing
they are smart and rambunctious
just like me
LevThey carry rabies
I carry STDs
the resemblances are uncanny
I put this song in my favorites after three seconds of listening
it's also on our playlist
Levlow blow would be a great name for a midget prostitute
it's unrelated to your song
It's a good one
I'd personally go with Little Death
I don't know why I always do that face
the "even I didn't think my joke was funny" face
LevBecause it's usually appropriate.
Levbullshit, you've never had a taco?
like an actual taco?
I don't believe that
doesnt seem appealing
the taco breaks and everything falls on the floor
Levthat doesn't matter
it's not about appealing or not
everyone in their life at some point
comes face to face with a taco
and goddammit they eat that taco
Levbut that's all the women in my life below the age of 30 apparently
...you still are below the age of 30, right?
Go fuck yourself
Levalready did
morning routine
brass balls sounds good enough
even if he doesnt have a truck
there's just so many options
Levhang it on your mantle, or on your cat!
Id use it as my wedding cake topper
Levhey, slip me a 20 and you can have the real deal on there
are you just gonna squat over my cake for the duration of the wedding
cause Id pay a 20 just to watch you struggle to not shit yourself
LevI wouldn't struggle
Levso everyone in belgium has mom pants
Its the fashion
And bicycles keep our birthing hips healthy and strong
Levironically enough, for the other half of the population it gurantees they can't have any children
Thats the ones who dont know how to bike like a champ
LevI'm surprised you don't live in sweden
cause it seems like you got a bad case of stockholm syndrome
Im steering clear of western influences
the commie lives in my heart
I wont let those belgians get to me
With their fries With mayo
Who's the communist now???
Levoh god they're so good tho
With mayo?
Is everyone insane?
Levwas told I have a very trustworthy and approachable face yesterday
it's not related to anything, I just liked hearing it
It is approachable
I'd approach you to ask if youve been in an accident
NO DONT TRUST THAT BITCH SHE WAS EATING GRAPES EALIER
Levrenn
renn did you kill yourself cause the movie is so bad?
don't do it
find the will to live
renn
renn no
renn
LIVE damn you
LIVE
This is abandonment
lev
I'm trying
it's so late
Levyou fuckin fell asleep didn't you?
ples