pp.

Levyou'd think that after all the lusty simping your ego would be permanently jammed at "hot shit" mode tho
you'd be surprised how quick it needs to be replenished
my ego is fragile cause my pp smol
Levyour pp infinite
cause your pp 0

jet lag.

noooo jet lag noooo
Levits actually already over
flying west is always easier jet lag wise
you motherfucker
you slept through half of our time together in italy
I watched an entire season of euphoria
and inventing anna
and tinder swindler
all alone
Levi was trying genuinely so hard
hmph
that's my disbelief sound
Levyou would know how hard the jet lag hits
if youd ever come visit me
in america
which you didnt
shouldn't have kept telling me about how much san jose sucks
Levwe went outside like 3 times in catania
san jose could have been on fire and we probably wouldnt have minded
also it was
on fire
several times
listen
I'll make up for it with Geneva visits
Levgirl you dont even got the right city

address proof.

they asked me whether I have some utility bills to prove I lived in Bulgaria
and I was like 'I don't have utility bills but here's a letter confirming my subscription to the Economist that is addressed to me in Bulgaria'
and attached a picture of this crumpled up letter
and they were like 'great, that'll do'
Levhahahaha
at least it worked
you could also have sent pictures of yourself
like
cooking and gardening
next to the varna sign
hhahahaha next to my house number
taking a video of unlocking my door
Levthe whole time youre just saying eh?
eh?

hoot.

Levim introducing a new emoji
it means i am falling ssleep now
so if i dont respind
you know why
🦉🦉🦉🦉
Because you don't care
Levyou got it
I say things
You're like
WHOOO CAREEEESS
Levhoot cares
r/yourjokebutworse
our entire friendship dynamic

spice.

so which spice do you want
you only get to pick one
Levoh cmooooooooon
sorry
come back to the spice shop when you've got stuff to barter
Levi know it's not exactly a spice
but i got a whole bunch of salt here
i can give you
no I got plenty of my own thanks

convex.

Levno help me with my homework
B convex final answer
Levhonestly I have no idea
you were right tho
wooo
convex
I picked it because of the song
Levrenn my brain smol
it's not smol
it's just convex
LevI don't know if you realise this
but you pretty effectively
just called me a smoothbrain
I did realise this
I think
Levthen props
on a pretty good math dunk
is the homework not going convexly
Levyou lost it

therapy.

I guess it's a small price to pay for premium dick
Kabiris it premium though
it belongs to a man who considered "gecko therapy" for his twin incest problem rather than going to a therapist
Levwhats a therapist gonna say
Kabir"bruh"
they don't wanna hear that
they want to talk to the gecko pls
Levtbh
everyone says to see a therapist
but like
those mangs be winging it
toxic men will literally bang their own sister instead of going to therapy
Levi will go to therapy to teach me tools to be able to cope so that i may continue banging my sister
what do you want, a manual?
Kabirno, a prescription
Leva sister
mostly

have you noticed that men don't really get the 'high mainten

have you noticed that men don't really get the 'high maintenance' label
like should you be considered a high maintenance man because you don't clean up after yourself or you don't cook
Levthey get the "just wants a mommy" label
which is the male version of high maintenance
speaking of which
i still have not made ramen
high
maintenance
man
Levi think
if i may defend myself
that my case is different
i do not want someone to clean up after me or cook for me
i just dont want to do it myself
is there a classification for that
I don't see the difference
who will do it if it's not you
Levthe same person that does it when i live alone
I mean, by all means, get a maid
protect everyone's sanity
but some basic cleaning skills are necessary for the day to day
Levi do occasionally
and then expect great amounts of praise
for the bare minimum
I praised you plenty
Levyeah exactly
you were an enabler
oh for gods sake

I feel bad though

I feel bad though
because she is fighting for like half my salary
and here I am complaining I don't get even more money
Levits all the same fight
you not fighting for yours isnt gonna make her get hers
to stick it to the man
Levyeah
for too long have we been oppressed by
*checks notes*
humanitarian organizations trying to feed the poor
time for us downtrodden workers to take back what rightfully belongs to us
an obscene amount of money for posting a tweet from the comfort of my own home
or a tropical beach
Levhuzzah

ballertown, usa.

you are on your music game lately
where are you finding these songs
Kabirballertown, usa
where I was born and where I live
I want to visit
but I'm stuck in lameberg
Kabiroof idk if we give people visas if they're traveling from there
I'll pull some strings
thanks
you're always welcome in lameberg
it may not be as cool
but it sure has more people

oliver.

Levmaybe i got too excited
thinking oliver would abide by his word
it has now passed 24h
but he did only say he would try
he never said how hard
hahaha
oliver, you've raised our hopes and dashed them expertly
Levoliver
my sweet
you could have just said this week
instead of within 24 hours
ambition is well and good
but set achievable goals
Don't he know that you out here quivering in anticipation
Literally every sentence in his email ends with an exclamation mark
How does this guy have a job
Levhahaha
he forgot to alternate them
so that i know he's not insane

date convo.

KabirHAHAHA
The complete lack of interest in the "oh so you're in coding" is deep and real
Levthats why i always say im in robotics
so the disinterest can be fine tuned
Kabirgood escape hatch
for me it's like
her: Oh so you're in coding? cool cool *obviously not cool*
me: oh but just not any coding
me: it's also FINANCE
her: coolcoolcoolcool
the word cool at 1.6 gigahertz
Lev
you: in payment processing
her: coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool *air starts to thump as she takes off and glides away to join a news chopper passing overhead*

you know

you know
sometimes I talk to you
and I'm like
why do I find it so entertaining to have my own opinions on things repeated back to me by another person
but I love it
I love my opinions
Levhahaha
i am your own private echo chamber
and I am yours

interview 2.

text me in your breaks
Levwill do
and good luck again
Levthanks
i will take it
interview 2: reckoning
interview 2: dawn of zucc
interview 2: 2 fast 2 curious
Levyou missed out on just
interview 2: fast 2 curious
damn

improv interview.

yeah but you can't give waymo all the funny
the meta people need to know you're a comic as well
Levthey have to bring it out of me
this will go from an interview to an improv show
real quick
Levnow for scenes from a hat
hello step employer
help, I'm stuck in the metaverse
Levi hope you dont fuck me by reselling my personalized ad statistics