and lil mook
you are allowed to send me one video of her
Levok I will make it count
yeah have her do some cool shit
Levlets be honest, it'll probs be bang bang related
been there done that
I want her to save you from a well
Levthe closest thing to that would be me shouting for help and her going
🤷♂️ weeeelllll
do you like how I did my hair this time, I parted it in the middle
Levyeah I know we agreed that center partings are not your friend but this one's working
it's just that we when it's too straight I look like a house
Levwell when you do that maybe
but when it's just kinda swooping it's nice
that doesn't make you look like a house
that makes you look like a home
I just rode in the bus end to end
And not a single person got on
This was only for me
I thanked the bus driver when I got off
Levyou got an uber sad
CarlI want to come
Europe won't let me in
what if you tell the border guys that I invited you and that I vouch for you
but then you have to promise me not to commit crimes
so that I'm not embarrassed
CarlI wouldn't commit crimes. That wouldn't be fun.
Man i was going for sarcastic but just ended up earnest
in american they say 'don't do the crime if you can't do the time'
but in russian we just say 'don't do the crime'
because nothing rhymes with преступление
there's three other people in the car
so maybe he's not a crazy person
Levalmost def not
but just in case
ask him how often he takes car trips where theres fewer people on the way back
hahaha
he's gonna think that I want to kill him
Levfree car then tho
no thanks
i prefer no killing to occur
only killin it on the dancefloor
Levso you do prefer killing
so do you apparently
cause you're killing my vibe
i'm watching this show about a super rich lady trying to run her charity
and the humanitarian worker in me is really cringing at all the opulence because it's a huge reputational risk
every single episode they do something that would tank the whole ngo
like going to events on private planes and having team retreats in exotic locations
also their offices are waaay too nice
Levdoes the un never lux it up for you
if I forget to bring my water bottle from home I can't drink water all day because there are no glasses
who's the guy
Levhe's just the only one that lives nearby
good enough
new bestie
i'll still be awake by the time this lunch is over
so I'll hear all about it
Levi dont think itll be very exciting
it will be if I give you words to include in your conversation with him
Levgive some
i promise nothing
but i might try
"white whale"
as in the euphemism
perfunctory
conan
either the talkshow host or the barbarian
oh and you should ask him what he thinks of the rehearsal if he has seen it
Levman I found a flea in my bed
that's been biting the shit out of me
what do you figure are the chances it's the only one
hmm I'd say there's more
unless you brought it from outside somehow
Levit's been around for at least like 4 days
how do you know it's the same flea
Levthere have been at least 4 fleadays
allowing for the potential of two fleas that didn't know each other
to both find their way into my bed
they can know each other
but venture outside in shifts
LevI got a bachelor pad to bring girls home not fleas
hopefully they're at least some fine ass lady flea hotties
maybe they're girl fleas
Leveyyyyy
eyyyyy
Levone mind
Levi just did some baller tarot readings
oooh
what did you get
Levthat im going to africa or space
is there anyone you know in space that you could visit
Levthe american flag
Levman
none of the stores around me are open late
and i did not have the foresight to buy toilet paper
oh no
if only you had a bidet
Levi should get one you right
even with a bidet i need tp tho
until then you can just use a water gun and an ass towel
God: the humans are gonna need you
Otter: why?
God: when they're sad you'll remind them life isn't that bad
Otter: I will do my best to make the world a better place
Levthe fuck has an otter done for me lately
the airbnb hosts left us a nice review
high five for being excellent guests
Levbetter than what the costa rica guy left us
which was a tepid acknowledgement that we had in fact lived at his house
oof
after all the intimate conversations you had over the phone
Levseriously
Kabirlmao what was is
"yeah they were here I guess"
next to a full 5 star review
"I cannot deny that they resided on the presmises"
LevI think it was literally "Lev and his friends stayed at the place and had a great time"
like he managed to pat himself on the back in his review of us
Kabirgonna see a man about a girl
ok no
I'm gonna see a girl about a girl
but the girl is the girl I'm seeing the girl about
Levthat makes it sound like you're going to a brothel
KabirI'm gonna see a girl
wait is that what that saying means
I thought that was you asking a girl's dad to propose to her
Levthe saying is I'm going to see a man about a horse
you absolute donkey
Kabiro
lol
horse*
I feel like spending time with a cute pupperino is a win
Levyeah your smash or pass preferences have made that clear
You didn't understand the game
Levi wish I could understand the game less
cmoooon
you laughed
and don't tell me you wouldn't fuck the shit out of the lady dog in lady and the tramp
if you were a dog
Levi swear to you
i would not
not out of strong will or anything
i just dont want to fuck a dog
maybe we just haven't found the right one for you
ok
how about the mom deer from bambi
Levyeah the mom deer can get it