papers, please.

we've been playing papers, please
Levoh yeah, that looks like such a good game
the description sounds like an onion article
"a fun document thriller"
but it's actually fun
LevI've watched some Let's Plays of it
it looked almost as stressful as actually immigrating into a country

lawers.

I did it
I'm officially
too cool for school
aw man, I just now realized I should have said that at graduation
I'll say it when I get my master's
Levlet's not lie to ourselves
you'll forget again
and then two years after your graduation you'll be taking a shower
and just yell "FUCK!"
I'll just say it there
to no one
Levare you calling me no one?
are you saying you'll be in the shower with me when I remember to say it?
LevI read there as here
sure you did
pervert
LevWhen I said my clones were keeping surveillance
I meant they were keeping really good surveillance
making sure my good jokes are heard by someone other than me
how sweet of you
LevSee? Why do none of the other women I do this to realize that it's a gesture of kindness?
It's all "sexual harassment this" and sexual harassment that" and "I swear judge, 'I use Pantene' sounded like 'I'm over seventeen' to me"
how is it sexual harassment if they're just sitting quietly in the corner?
sure, sometimes there's heavy breathing involved, but since when is breathing a crime?
someone should stand up for those clones' rights
Levand then they're all like "well heavy breathing into someone's vagina IS a crime"
and I'm all like "well okay then next time I'll hold my breath"
"alls I'm saying is, a little heads up would be nice"
Levman, fuck stefan
we should have been lawyers
seriously
I would look so good with a suitcase
I'd keep starbursts in it

hipster profile pic.

I attended this conference today at work
and there's the uk energy minister talking about the future of energy in europe
and I'm in the back of the room, taking selfies
Levhahahaha
if I make this my profile picture
I'll never hear the end of it
from you
Levyou really really wouldn't
renn
renn don't do this
there's
there's support groups
let me do this
Levrenn
if you do this
if you do this
we'll only be able to ironically be friends
our friendship seems fickle if it's dependent on my photo choices
Levit very much is
I've decided to unfriend you like 15 times over the course of two weeks
but then decided to refriend you
awwww
you just can't stay away for too long
I understand
and I forgive you for your times of doubt

graph.

http://priceonomics.com/the-hipster-music-index/
according to this
I am not a hipster
I've never heard of half of these bands
Levyou're too non mainstream for a graph to capture you
you can only be fully described by a badly presented infographic
you're totally right
I should make my own infographic to show how mainstream I am
it will have a line that goes one way!
and another - in the other way!
probably some dots here are there
and a squiggly thing for good measure
so it looks legit
oh man, I should have gone after engineering
Levyeah, then your social ineptitude would have been seen as a quirk of your career instead of a mental handicap
mistakes have been made

clones.

the weirdest thing keeps happening to me these days
I keep seeing people that look exactly like you
so much that I'll be talking to someone
and I see some curly-haired asshole
and I'll forget what I was saying
LevI've been cloning myself
and spreading my copies around bulgaria to disrupt your daily life
oh no
what a needlessly complicated plan to mildly confuse me
Levalso steal your social security number
but then I realized they don't have those in bulgaria
so...shit
quite the mastermind you are

style choice.

is my movie lagging?
or is this the way it was shot
no, I think it's lagging
LevI think
that is how it was shot
this doesn't seem like framerate lag
this seems like they just decided to cut the frame rate while recording
because fuck you, I guess?
IT' A STYLE CHOICE, LEV
GAWD
EDUCATE YOURSELF
LevTHE AAAAAAAAART
I think one of the cameras was broken
and they were like "welp, fuck me if we're reshooting this"
"I'm sure everyone will get it"
let's move along, people, I've got to film the mimes in nicolas cage's "vampire"

hausu.

LevTWO OF MY FRIENDS HAVE DIED BUT I BET THAT OTHER PERSON IS TOTALLY FINE RIGHT GUYS RIGHT YEAH I'M RIGHT

cubes.

Levwhy bother with it, though?
true to the cause
whatever it is
I'm so thoroughly confused
Levthe cause being to
uh...
murder people in cubes
because fuck people
or fuck cubes?
I'm not sure

wording.

I heard crying
I assumed it was you wackin it
Levno
somebody just called me fat
and I had to cry the calories away
ah, if it only worked that way
I would lose all the calories gained from lunch while sitting on the office toilet
Levdon't you?
kinda?
by...shitting?
isn't that how shitting works?
yeah, I kinda regret that wording
I did not mean shitting

cartoon network show.

hey
guess which show I'm watching
com on
guess
it's a cartoon network show
Lev"Cartoon that aid in depression"?
warmer
I'll give you a hint
I relate to the main character
Lev"Ugly hoes and their cats"?
"Approachably attractive girl struggles to tolerate her misanthropic asshole friend"

pootie tang.

see?
when you say I dress like a hooker
it's just being fancy
Levthat doesn't apply
when you're actually a hooker
what, just because I want to dress like a lady and fuck some guys and get some money afterwards
you call me a hooker?
if I had a bag I would have slapped you with it

pootie.

Lev"no pootie"
was that raoe?
that sounded like rape
sex with pootie cannot legally be considered rape
it is consentual by default

necklace.

REALLY?
THE NECKLACE HAS BEEN THERE FOR 90 YEARS?
Levhahahaha
and no punk teenagers ever swiped it?
Levwhat are you, 60?
punk teenagers?
:/
punk-ass kids

hyphens.

Levcoolio
coo-lee-oh
Levshut up
who allowed you to hyphenate?
I got a license

nic cage's vampire.

OH MY GOD
THIS
THIS IS WHERE THAT MEME COMES FORM
HAHAHAHAH
his eyebrows are trying to escape his face
but it's just not working
Levhow
how are there people in LA starving to be actors
and Nic Cage is fucking famous
as he hugs his goddamn baugette